My dad offered to take me to McDonald's for breakfast after my scan. An egg mcmuffin with orange juice sounded delicious so I let him. I am very rarely awake in time for Mickey D's breakfast hours and if I am it's because I'm busy doing something else. It's become kind-of a treat. I also never actually eat inside McDonald's anymore because I'm usually eating it on the go. I felt like a little girl when my dad parked (about three miles away--always worried someone will ding his car doors) and we walked inside to order. We sat across from each other and chatted while we ate. After breakfast, we went back to the lab to get my blood work done and then we drove back home.
I spent the rest of the week cleaning out my bedroom. Every time I have come home for a weekend from school I always think I will clean out some of my old junk from high school and every time I've been "too busy." This time I didn't really have an excuse. I had an entire week to do nothing but shop for Christmas presents and clean out my room, so that's what I did! I felt this extreme urge to be sure that everything was taken care of before I had the surgery. I've never been pregnant but I think what I felt, and continue to feel, is something similar to the nesting instinct that most women get in the last month or so of pregnancy. I needed to be doing something...accomplishing something. I cleaned off my bookshelf, I organized my dresser and made a "thrift store bag" and a box of stuff that I needed to keep at my parents house for the time being. I vacuumed, dusted and I even emptied the trash.
On the 17th, my parents and I went to my pre-op consultation appointment in Sacramento. I will be having my surgery at Mercy General in Sacramento but his office is down the street at Sutter Medical Group. He said that my tumor looked slightly larger on the scan which is probably why I had experienced a couple more seizures since he had seen me last. In the previous appointment he had sort-of left it up to me to decide if I wanted surgery now or later but he said, "Since it's grown and you have more symptoms, it makes it a little more urgent." He decided to increase my dosage by half and said that I should no longer drive. He used a plastic model to show me how he would enter my brain and other parts of the procedure. We asked him lots of questions and he was happy to answer them. This time he mentioned that I could be in the hospital up to five days (as opposed to the 2-3 he had told us previously) and he also explained that I would indeed have a catheter inserted for surgery. Ugh. I'd seriously rather have a diaper than have some random nurse touch my privates...I supposed that wouldn't be very sanitary, though...I thought. But they would at least wait until after I was sedated. Whew! ...As if it's less creepy to be touched while you're sleeping...
Today is December 19th, 2010 and it's my family's Christmas Eve this year. This morning I went to church with my fiancée and both of our parents. The sanctuary was beautifully decorated for Christmas and the sermon was titled The Christmas Story According to Jesus. I have always enjoyed this pastor's sermons because they are very fast-paced, full of scripture references, and rich with etymology lessons, all of which make it really hard not to pay full attention. Today's message focused on the following four points:
1) Jesus came into the world for a purpose: He was born to die (Isaiah 53:10-11)
2) Jesus came into the world with the knowledge that He was the perfect One to fulfill that purpose (2 Cor.5:16-21; 1 Tim. 1:15; 1 Cor. 15:3-4)
3) It is clear that Jesus was delighted to do the Father's will (Is.53:11a)
4) When He says, "Here I am," He means, "Here I am!" (Matt. 28:20)
During his sermon this morning, the pastor referenced one of my favorite passages, which is Micah 6:8:
He has shown all you people what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Sometimes God uses figurative language like metaphors or complex parables to illustrate a principle that we should live by, but sometimes He gets right to the point. It is so refreshing in the midst of all of this uncertainty to not have to wade through complicated scripture...instead I was able to find peace in the simplicity of what He desires of me: justice, mercy and humility.
After church and a quick lunch of leftover Chinese (yum!), my mom and I met my best friend and her mom at our favorite nail place and got manicures and pedicures. It was just what I needed: relaxation...and sparkly red toes!! We got coffee and talked as our nails continued to dry so that by the time we got home I felt thoroughly pampered. :)
Tomorrow morning my family and I will wake up and open presents as if it was Christmas morning...I can't help but wonder what I will be doing this year when everyone else is opening their gifts on December 25th...